The pain of childlessness. Samuel 1

Hannah desperately wanted a child. It may have been her dream from her youth, or something she developed during her marriage but the pain of not being able to conceive was certainly accentuated by the children born to others around her, and a feeling that she had not lived up to her eternal mandate as a woman.

It seems this is such a common thread throughout the scriptures - every time I read it, I wonder if I am not missing some greater lesson.

Despite advances in technology this is still a very common occurrence. It seems that with every new opportunity to work around problems with infertility, a new source of trouble presents itself making the numbers who are challenged in this area ever greater.

I have watched my friends, and sister agonise over their childlessness. Quietly cry in the back room during baby showers, hide their disappointment at yet another proclamation of pregnancy from friends, and most of all avoid any public gathering the second Sunday of May.

I have seen people go to great lengths to secure their opportunity to have a child when it doesn't come as a matter of course. IVF, artificial insemination, specialists, gurus, adoption, foster care, international babies, prayer, fasting, and blessings. Sometimes even risking major health difficulties in the process.

Hannah for her part made a vow, that if she could have just the one, she would devote him to the Lord. (Better to have a child that she would not raise than none at all.) In return for her faith she went on to have many more children, and her son became a great prophet in Israel.

I know many Hannah's, everyones longing and everyone's path to this place is a little different. But I have seen miracle upon miracle, as a wanted children are literally pulled down to earth. Maybe they are reluctant to come, or as the examples in the scriptures like Samuel, destined for greatness. Maybe it is the plan to have them very wanted, and adored. ("You is kind, you is smart, you is important").

Or maybe it is to remind us, every one of us is really a miracle. We should always cherish life it is a gift.

Hannah dedicates Samuel to the Lord

When our lives are not ideal. Ruth 1-4

On return from Moab to her home town Bethlehem, Naomi laments that her old friends should now call her Mara (reference to Exodus 15:23) because her life was so bitter. She had left with a husband, two sons, and a world of possibilities, and returned as a widow, without children, means, and no prospects in her old age for the future. Her only asset - a daughter in law Ruth, who despite Naomi's pleadings refused to leave her side.

She knew not why she was so forsaken, underlying her challenging situation was a feeling of resignation. This was the way the Lord had chosen to deal with her, she would make the best of it. She was not angry, she had faith, but she was also a realist, her life was hard and would continue to be so.

When life is hard, it is tempting to draw comparisons and pronounce judgement, on ourselves as well as others. We want to make sense of the pain and distance ourselves from it. We have ideals and when our lives don't measure up despite our hard work we yearn for answers. As a church we have high standards and lofty expectations our non compliance is sometimes mistaken for unrighteousness. One of the apostles addressed this challenge. He said we talk about ideals, but we realise that very few people meet those ideals. Talking about ideals is not designed to make those not in those situations feel inadequate but to help provide a focal point to move forward in our lives. (paraphrasing.... I cant find the quote)

As time went on, Naomi recognised some glimmers of hope, the Lord had blessings for her and perhaps had a wonderful plan after all. Her late husbands relative took pity on her and gave Ruth great favor. This lead to a wonderful marriage and a special lineage. Ruth would be the great grandmother of a king and a special ancestor of the Saviour.

What had seemed to be an overwhelming personal tragedy for both women was in fact the pre-cursor to an amazing future!

Women of great faith supporting each other.

When our gifts can be our downfall. Judges 13 - 16

Samson was born with a great birthright, to be a hero and a deliverer of Israel. The predication of this blessing was his covenant to keep the word of wisdom and not cut his hair. Both an inward commitment and very outward sign that he was different.

Samson struggled with this difference. He seemed to not identify very well with the plight of his people. While accepting the constraints of his covenant his saw his talent not as an opportunity to bless the Israelites but as a means of opening doors for himself in the wealthy circles of the Philistines. It was his ticket out of poverty and subjugation.

Unfortunately the Philistines while revering his talent (perhaps regarding him as a freak), did not think him an equal. While he could make them fear him, he would never get their love nor respect. His own people too maybe felt his talent embarrassed them. He never quite found his place and seemed to be a little lost and very lonely.

In Delilah he thought he had finally found love. Someone with whom he could share the burden of his position and the missed opportunities of his life. It was bitter realisation that in choosing her, he would break his covenant and lose all that he had.

But in his humble slavery to the Philistines he came to know his God, and the great source of strength behind all covenants. He accepted his destiny, delivered his people and gave his own life in the process.

The story of Samson is a interesting metaphor of our own pride when we benefit from our obedience. We can be blessed with such great talent that we shine in a very dull world. We can be singled out for authorships and promotions, beauty pageants and sports scholarships, record deals and political office - the light of the gospel shining bright in our eyes, not yet hollow from addiction, not cast low by indulgence, not burdened by regret.

When the accolades and money flow who will we praise and who will we deliver?

Samson's death was the fulfillment of the promise at his birth.

Your new calling! Judges 6:15 - Judges 7

Gideons call to lead Israel came as quite a surprise to him. From a poor family and the least talented of his brethren he felt very inadequate. The Lord had a plan and knew his heart - it was possible. Yet
Gideon struggled with this new role and sought for multiple signs to give him confidence to move forward. The Lord on his part gave him plenty of help.

This event changed Gideons future life. He lead Israel to a miraculous victory over the Midianites, and more importantly reattached them to their God. They in gratitude wanted him for their King, he refused but still had the wealth and influence attached to it. He became the most powerful man in Israel.

In a Church lead by inspiration we are fortunate to have plenty of current examples of this, a new Bishop maybe a recent member with little or no experience, and feel very much like Gideon.

But like Jephthat's daughter some life changing callings are not done over the pulpit, they are not revered and are certainly not wanted.

It would be a very interesting sacrament meeting where a Bishop would invite a member to stand and announce 'Brother ........ has been called to have cancer, would you sustain him and help his family in this demanding endevour', 'Sister ........... has this week been called to be a widow, will you raise your hand in support'.

Are these any less callings? They are often unexpected, outside our comfort zone, a painful learning curve and a wonderful opportunity to work really close to the Lord. All the hallmarks of Gods hand. And if we looked at these challenging events as callings and acknowledged them as such would we dispel much of the fear we associated with them?

Losing a job, having an accident, dissolution of marriage, supporting an aged parent..... Could we see the hand of the Lord in all our life challenges? Would we have the faith to not 'bewail our circumstance' or at least as Gideon seek confirmation of His love and miraculous path forward toward physical, emotional and most importantly spiritual deliverance?

Could we then become national or local heros, leading others to compassion not otherwise in their path? Consider this woman Natalie Murphy. Average, unassuming, called on to endure something overwhelming, called on to be amazing! Here is her story its raw, its irreverent, its inspiring, its real. Lifes callings are just that!

Gideon leads his 300 men to victory.

Bewailing Virginity - Judges 11:30-40

This story is a really interesting one in the Old Testament. On the surface it seems inconsistent with righteous thinking and what we know about God. Mike Verdicchio offers some explanation which goes a long way to offer some consistency and comfort with this story.

But this story also gives us an interesting option to look at some very challenging parts of mortality that otherwise the scriptures are silent on.

Being Single

Jephthah's daughter is obviously a woman of great faith who trusts in her father (and her Heavenly Father). In ancient Israel as with most societies today, a large part of worth is ascribed to relationships and family. The vow her father has made with God which impacts on her life would have been a very difficult one to accept. She took some time to ‘bewail her virginity’, which in large part may have been a period of grieving and coming to terms with the idea that she would remain single and have no chance to have a family of her own. 

Jephthah's daughter is the kind of unsung hero that we probably all have examples of in our lives. She probably had some other options. She could reject her father’s vow and the commitments she had made, take a husband out of the covenant, raise a family. But she instead chose to gain a testimony of the Lords plan for her and a desire to serve and trust him even if it meant giving up  or delaying her dreams.

An unexpected tragedy that changes the course of your life
Another take on this story is the idea that your life and dreams can change in an instant, sometimes through someone Else's act. How do you deal with an event or series of events that completely change what you thought your life would be? How do you go about forgiving someone else or yourself for those changes? How do you move forward when you know your life’s dreams will now go unfulfilled?

Again Jephthah's daughter shows us how with faith, and a lot of prayer, it is possible to gain an eternal perspective and new hopes and dreams. 

Terminal Illness
Knowing that your life will end or change dramatically in a short period of time. What do you do with that time? How do you prepare yourself, family and friends? How do you make peace with your circumstance?

Being a Parent

How as a parent do you watch them go through challenges, having their hopes and dreams changed, knowing you are powerless or even contributed to their circumstance, worried about their future, or a future without them? What about giving up your dreams of being a grandparent, or the admiration of your friends? And as you age and face your own mortality the prospect of not having them to care for you or leaving them without the only family they have?

I know people in all these situations, and have been privy to their fears and heartbreak. I have also seen the hand of the Lord, letting them know they are not alone, that there is an eternal plan. From what I have seen I believe that with any challenge there is a compensation of great heavenly love, you just have to get past the fear.

The importance of Friends
In any trying circumstance particularly when you don't have family (but even if you do), friends can make all the difference. Jephthah's daughter had great friends who supported her in coming to terms with her lot, and returned each year to give her strength and purpose to continue.

We can be those kind of friends. Conscious of the challenges of others, soft in our judgement, willing to listen when it is tough, be propagators of faith, and be enduring with our support. After all it is precisely those kind of friends who have seen us through our rough patches.

painting by Edwin Longsden Long recounting the story of Jeptha’s daughter

Unusual Gems

The Old Testament is a great work of scripture. One of things I like best about the Old Testament is that it talks about issues not brought up in other standard works. We can find examples and metaphors for much of the complexity of life we face today.

I thought this blog might be a great forum to articulate what I discover as we discuss some of these unusual stories in the Old Testament.

Hope you enjoy and lend your perspective and knowledge.